Learninganew

I’m eight days sober since a relapse.

During the period of self-searching and remorse which followed that experience, I decided to do two things.

• Firstly, to go back to AA.

• Secondly, to use SR as a means of support and perhaps a sounding board to deal with some of things about AA which I find frustrating.

I’ve decided not to say anything negative about AA at this early stage, on the basis that if I create a negative impression of it in my mind it will be a barrier to me seeing its positive aspects. Much better to try to engage with the group and reap the benefits.

So I plan to go to regular meetings and make a mental note of one helpful thing I hear at each meeting. I will then share those helpful things with the SR community.

So, at last night’s meeting, a woman said something striking. She said if she woke up now with the symptoms of a hangover she had when she was drinking, she would consider admitting herself to hospital. She experienced such an intense physical hangover, including nausea and dehydration, that she would have classed it as a medical emergency if it had started suddenly and without explanation.

The woman said that this was a condition she suffered from almost every day when she was drinking but it has now stopped because she has been sober for more than ten years, which she put down to the AA programme.

On consideration, I think I could have said the same thing after my last binge. The hangover, combined with my self-pitying mental state, kept me from doing anything productive for several days.

I am not in that state now. I’m sober, focussed on recovery and grateful for another day. I’m also grateful to that woman for sharing her experience at the AA meeting. And I’m grateful to this forum for providing me with an outlet to share her insights.

So, my plan from now on is to post regularly with one helpful thing which I learn from each of the AA meetings I attend. I think if I can make this an almost daily habit, it will add another dimension to my recovery.