Emme- when I thought alcohol was my only out- it was because I felt despair, hopeless and helpless. The only way I could get myself out of that place was with professional support. A doctor to monitor my major depression- with meds, a psychologist and using CBT to learn how to grow emotionally and a counselor for dealing with the addiction to alcohol. Not only for support but 'to do what I was told'.. They are 3 different issues for me- not one huge mess. I also go to AA meetings and SMART. Support and empathy to you.