Hi Emme
I really hope this is your last drink, can I hope you can think of enough things to do differently this time to ensure a different outcome.
The more we choose to we drink the harder it is to quit.
What are your triggers? Despair, fear, needing to relax, trying to cope with life? something else?
Maybe it's time to start a list of other things you could do when that urge to drink comes upon you - it could be as basic as posting here first, or going to AA or some other group?