Even if this happened (and please believe me when I say I KNOW how you feel... I have absolutely been there... actually worse... I slapped my nextdoor neighbor in the FACE one night, blacked out (I was told I slapped him later on, while i was already ashamed and hungover like death itself) , I dont even KNOW him very well. Thats when I got myself here to sobberrecovery. I was nearly suicidal from shame. And I HAD to go apologize to him!).
Even if this happened, you are still a worthy being in this universe. Even this is absolutely forgivable.
Your struggles are a part of your journey on this earth plane, and every single human being on this planet has their shame, and their struggles.
You have every right to be a messy human being, and to heal from your mishaps.
Know this in your bones, and please hold your head high. You are addressing the problem right now <3
Many never do.
Get sober. Stay sober.
Just for today.
There will never be another horrible day like that one... if you stay sober.
One day at a time.