I can't help very much here, but absolutely wish you the best as you sort this out. I have a similar dynamic with a certain person, but know damn well that were we to pursue it I'd bring my craziness right into it, and she'd turn out to be mortal, thus disappointing me when she turns out to be flawed.
In fact, we don't even know each other-- we knew each other in the 90's. God knows who she is now, and I'm damn well not the guy she knew then. I'd be pursuing a relationship with a total stranger, but also with expectations that I don't see as realistic.