Let me ask you guys this; is walking away from a loving relationship the only option at this point? I am not scared to start over, live alone, find an apartment, etc. Those things are not the obstacle. My issue is primarily the fact that I do love my bf, I value what he adds to my life, the acceptance he brings to us, and the fact that he's never been anyone other than who he says he is. I love his children, and his oldest has definitely bonded with me. Can I walk away from love just because I don't have my crap together? Ugh....I need to get my head screwed on straight.
As for 'other' guy. When I became single nearly 3 years ago, he was in a relationship. When we first met 25 yrs ago, I was married and he was single. I didn't know at the time that he had a thing for me. We were on the same team, we took lunch breaks together, etc.....I just saw him as a friend at work. He revealed his feelings to me shortly after I had started dating my current guy, probably around the 4 month mark. He had been married and divorced in his 30s and they never had children.
He is a fantasy. I know it. There was never a relationship. I never really thought about him much until he started contacting me after my divorce. He lives a life I probably would not be comfortable with after the initial romance phase were to wear off. I know that for a fact. I just need to block him and get reacquainted with who I am and with what I want. I need to out my energies back into my recovery and into my relationship with my bf. He deserves better.