Steely, I hope you'll give that story a try, I like the idea very much. Probably cause it involves a lot of my favourite people
Thanks Nands for your post, it was really insightful. I did the same, sleeping with guys cause I didn't want them to leave. And in hindsight I know I just wanted their friendship but thought the only thing of interest that i could offer was sex. And it always ended up with them leaving me because their new girlfriends didn't accept our friendship because there was sex involved at one point. Even though that was always before their relationships started.
And I think it's the same here. I just like that guy as a person and I would like to connect with him and be friends. But I think that because I'm a girl they wouldn't respect me or find me boring. So the only thing that could be convincing or interesting is my body. I probably has to do with not respecting / liking myself and always having wished I was a boy/man. I always wanted to hang with the guys and it worked just fine until I was a teenager.
I have more to say but will do that later cause I'm meeting a friend from out of town for lunch (breakfast for me, still full from last night) now.
Speak later, lots of love!