tomsteve

yes, i can frame it better:
a cancer diagnosis is the perfect reason to stay sober.

i was diagnosed stage 3 metastatic melanoma 13 months into recovery.
stage 3 metastatic melanoma prognisis was about a 19% chance of surviving 5 years.
that diagnosis was in 2006.
im still alive and STILL sober today.
although i had heard from people that had been in AA long before i showed up that many people get a diagnosis of something and drink. most of them didnt make it back.
personally i still dont understand that. why, if im told that i have something that i may not survive 5 years9 which i was), would i want to go get drunk and have a huge self centered pity party? why would i do that and cause mor eharm to the people around me?
other than the self centeredness.
i didnt get sober to be told i was going to die- i got sober because i was going to die and i sure as hell wasnt gonna let alcoholism take me out. i wanted to live life to the fullest with what time i had left.
and as i said
im still here all them years later.
and if i decided to drink?
i am 100% convinced i would have died years ago and missed out on a LOT.

"but alcohol is such a part of my fabric as a human being"
no,it isnt, you werent born drunk and it was probably a few years before you took your first drink.

"I dont like AA, I dont like "spirituality," and I dont like being told what to do"
it would be nice to know your background with AA.
have you read the big book?
the program as laid out in the big book i have only has suggestions- never once tells me i NEED to do anything.
HOWEVER
the condition i was in when i got to AA- at the point of suicide- i was willing to go to any lengths. i didnt hate life- i just hated my life and myself.

i didnt like spirituality either.
until the day after my last drunk- the pain of getting drunk had exceeded the pain of reality and i was given the gift of desperation.
i surrendered.
i was quite glad and blessed to have had people explain the spirituality angle of AA for me. it didnt just save my life.i didnt have a life- i was just existing.
it gave me life.

"Im screwed man......."
no, youre not. there are many,many ways to get and stay sober and NOW you have a choice- stay in the self pity and keep getting drunk
or make a decision you want to get sober and are willing to do ANYTHING to get sober.
then get into action.

"Im considering a meeting this morning, but I have been drinking, and am an emotional wreck.... Trust me, I am not a drama queen, or an attention seeker by any means, but this disease has me on the ropes right now...."
the members dont care if your drunk at a meeting. in fact, wed rather see a drunk person at a meeting- society and the alcoholic that shows up drunk are safe for that time.

the disease concept as AA talks about it is a spitual disease. i learned real quick that it was a major reason i ended up at the doors of AA- i was being my own higher power. i was trying to run the show.
that got me drunk every time.

have you read the big book of AA?

whats the worse that can happen by going to a meeting this morning, then giving AA a shot for 90 days? go to meetings for 90 days, read the book, find a sponsor to help explain the program and guide ya through the steps, and work the steps.
THEN see what ya think?