Originally Posted by Hope1989

Hey everyone.

So, I'm feeling particularily ****** today. Something actually really sad happened, which it is my fault.

So after struggling for over 6 months to find a job, I finally did it. I was so happy, I cried because I got it and I had put so much effort in this, it's crazy.

However, yesterday I was ask to go and sign a contract on a "Friday Beer" and was invited by the manager and HR to get a beer. I haven't even started yet. I was terrified, obviously, I should not have accepted, but I did not want to disclose that I am an alcoholic. So I had one beer.

The rest what happened its history. I lost my bag, with my working contract in it, lost my phone and spent a lot of money. That one beer got me to square one again. I am devastated. I feel sad, mad, dissapointed and I just can't do this anymore.

I live in a foreign country and I don't have anyone to speak of this, and my family has already suffered enough because of me. So, right now, I know I'm fetching, I know it will pass, but I just need to listen it's going to be okay.

I'm 28 years old, and alcohol has damaged my life horribly. On top of that I am depressive and have OCD. Actually, I have lost all hope in me, I hate myself and don't know whats wrong with me.

But hey, I'll keep trying.

Just thanks for anyone that reads this.