amy.....I would like to ask you a question (if you feel comfortable answering it)....
If your family sees something that they disapprove of....say, like if they see that your daughter called y our ex and his girlfriend "parents".....
What would be the result....would they blame you, in some way? Would they hold you responsible? Would they expect you to "correct" the situation? Would they talk about you behind your back?
I am really just asking for an example....
I was thinking about this...and, I wondered what it is that the family does that triggers fear or anxiety in you?
do you have a certain role in your family....? Like, maybe, scapegoat, or black sheep....or, caretaker. .........
Does you family have rigid rules...rigid boundaries?
the reason that I ask this, is, that I have noticed, over time...that when there is a family gathering or important event....it triggers a lot of anxiety and confused emotions, for you....
I know that I grew up in a place where many families were quite tribal and had lots of "rules"...mostly unwritten...Anyone who stepped on the "rules" were subjected to quite a lot of criticism or disapproval....so, I know how family gatherings can be fraught with anxiety.....
This is just really about my own curiosity....feel free to ignore it, if I am "digging" too much...lol....