102 days in - but I still wish I could drink normally.
I haven't had a single sip of alcohol in 102 days. Sometimes I look back on my crappy last few sips of a cider mimosa and wish I would have ended it with something more my style.
I'm in the process of decluttering my home. I'm guessing sobriety has opened my eyes to just how much **** I've been holding on to in my life. I went to the library and got the book Spark Joy by Marie Kondo. In the book, she discusses living in a home where everything has a place and excess clutter just doesn't exist. I've donated at least 150 books to the library, 6 stuffed bags to a thrift store where proceeds go to women who have been subject to domestic abuse, and I've got another six bags in my car full of kitchen gadgets, linens, etc to go to Goodwill. It feels good to rid my life of clutter. One of my last steps is my stemware which has become my Everest. It's extremely hard to part with my glasses. Every time I think about it I get choked up. A couple of weeks ago I was cooking breakfast and I started talking about getting rid of them and the tears just overwhelmed me. My BF held me and told me how proud he is of me. It's hard.
A couple of days ago he went out to a new brewery with a buddy of his. When he came home he told me.. "I'm insanely proud of what you're accomplishing in your life in sobriety, but moments like walking up to a brand new brewery make me miss those moments I shared with you." That's not verbatim, but it's the gist of what he said. I can't fault him for it. Those moments were my favorite as well. Sharing the first sip of a new brew, admiring the new digs and declaring it a new hang out for us..
He's also going to the Sam Adams Brewery next month for a friends birthday. I went the first year they got together and we had a blast. Sigh.
Sometimes you just need to bullet point the reasons why sobriety is the answer:
1) Haven't had a fight with my BF over excess drinking.
2) Absolutely ZERO hangovers in 102 days.
3) Absolutely ZERO guilt on what I might have done or said.
4) I lost five pounds.
5) I'm saving money.
6) Dining out options have increased because I'm not worried about if they serve liquor or not.
7) Focusing in on my hobbies like reading, crocheting, and makeup.
8) Inspired to start drafting up ideas for a book I've wanted to write for a long time.
9) Decluttering the items in my life that give me no joy.
10) I feel like I have so much more time on the weekends.
Feel free to add more in this thread. I need it today for some reason. I'm 100% not going to drink.. but I'm feeling really sad that I can't drink normally..