Shutterbug1

Hi Everyone...

I have been smoking and periodically vaping daily, for many years now. About three years ago I started smoking a little in the morning and then smoking out in the evenings, basically being high all day. Over the past week, I started having this feeling of being more spacey then usual periodically. Then on Sunday night I had a MAJOR FREAKOUT. It was a panic attack. I had been smoking heavily all day and entranced in a drawing I was working on. When I got up to go to bed, I felt like my insides were buzzing and racing, I called my friend and he stayed on the phone with me the whole time. I was bawling, felt nauseous, super surreal, my legs were shaking and the muscles were locking up. I also couldn't stop going to the bathroom, like loose bowels. It was a real nightmare. I've never felt like that.

I woke up the next day and still felt off, and still surreal and high, though not as intense. For the first time in years I didn't smoke in the morning. I lasted about two hours at work and had to go home. I have been home since. Since Sunday, I haven't smoked and feel afraid to ever smoke again. I want to quit and get my head back. I feel surreal and high without smoking, but it doesn't feel like good being high. I keep panicking and worrying that I have ruined my mind. But I know that I will need to abstain and only time will make it better. I'm fat too, so it's in my fat cells and will probably take a long time to work itself out of my system. I feel like i'm on the verge of panic regularly, with periods when I'm able to calm myself down and tell myself, it's going to get better, this is the worst part...tomorrow will feel better then today...and so on...

Please, how have you dealt with this?