Thanks y'all so much, and Poppy, I really feel you. I am eating plenty and hydrating. Doing good things.
Dee, I guess I never really realized that I never fully 'took drinking off the table.' Even though quitting has always been the goal. Something deep down is holding fast I think to the idea that this is all fine and just shake off that hangover and just don't over do it, silly. But that is my AV I know.
I am going to keep going as always. Having a drink is the furthest thing from my mind right now but I have surprised myself too many times.
I don't know why but I don't seem to have truly faced this.