Oh Plenny, my heart goes out to you. Just last week I also drank. I was super stressed and angry at everyone so I punished them by punishing myself. I didn't slowly fall back into drinking either, there was no moderation, straight back to early November last year. It was as if the last 8.5 months didn't happen. For 2 days.
I must have learned something while sober because I got back on said horse, started taking antabuse again, took time off work to cocoon myself with my dogs, forced myself to do nice things for me and my dogs (going to the park, sitting in the sun and reading). I watched a bucket load of Tele and ate chocolate.
I'm terrified at how easy and quickly I fell. I also wonder if this is going to be an ongoing 'thing'. Hope not.
Try to be kind to yourself, this battle can be bloody horrendous at times. But it's worth fighting I think.
One day turns into one week, then one month, then one year. We can do this hun xx