Old 07-28-2017, 05:25 PM
  # 5 (permalink)  
kevlarsjal
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: Europe
Posts: 523
Hi Kenton, Poppy and Ananda!

I'm at my BF's and even though we didn't go to the big English speaking meeting where I wanted to pick up my 9 months chip we had a really lovely evening. His health problems were back today but his mood was still better. We could even bike around for a bit and had nice dinner. It makes me so happy to see him in a slightly better mood, I love him so much!

Poppy, if you're interested in AA literature and struggle with the Big Book, I recommend reading the 12 Steps & Twelve traditions. I still struggle with huge parts of the big book. Especially the stuff about Bill. I just can't relate to it. From the Big Book the chapter 5 how it works helped me the most in the beginning. I definitely was that person that tried to control everything, the actors, the light, the whole play and it never worked out like I wanted it to. The harder I tried, the harder I failed.

So I'm learning to let go of my own will and just take life as it comes and I noticed that when I find myself trying to force things, it often ends in a mess. Now I try to step back when things feel forced and uneasy and go a slightly different path where I feel like things are just in a certain 'flow'. And that's usually when everything's going great without putting much effort in. May that be my HP guiding me or not, it makes life a lot easier

Nands, I also have that problem with looking / wishing for constant safety. I am always looking for some kind of guarantee that everything's gonna be fine. I try to make other people give me that guarantee which is just childish. But again, the only way out is to have faith.

Have to go to bed now, good night everyone!
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