I was reading this thread again today. It's amazing to me how we've all felt those powerful urges. The ones that just seem to overtake us. I find it awesome that the entire community answered the "911" call for help. I find it even more awesome that you reached out peppermint and LISTENED to the many voices of reason. When I've relapsed on these urges, I did not reach out. Too ashamed, too embarrassed to come here or anywhere really. Kudos again for becoming stronger for fighting your AV. I can imagine you feel so much better and stronger because of it. Great job!