Drinking makes everything feel worse. I know it seems like drinking soothes you and numbs you, but it actually magnifies depression and anxiety.
So it becomes this hellish circle - wake up either hungover or plain tired/flat from bad sleep, crave, drink, either black out or pass out, wake up, rinse/repeat.
No one can be truly close to another person when alcohol has such influence. It makes us have tunnel vision - eyes fixed only on problems, misery, disappointments - anything to justify buying yet another bottle of wine.
I really get it. It will feel completely unnnatural to stop doing it, but it is the only way to create peace in your mind.