if you are a nitwit, you are a very brave and honest one!
it's very difficult to "escape" when the are problems in the home, with a partner. but as you have seen, drinking didn't really HELP you in the long run. yes, it is likely that without alcohol you will feel things more intensely again. but that will even out in time. i believe with a clear head and healthy body, you will be able to face your challenges head on and make good choices.
