Originally Posted by FireSprite

I take weekends off from SR, mostly. I might pop in to read or check in if someone is having an active crisis but I've found that one of the best things we can do sometimes is to just not log in.

In my early recovery that idea would have sent me into a panic - I relied on SR many times daily to keep my in my mental safe zone, no matter what day of the week it was. I also work 8 hours per day with multiple screens & programs open & whirring at the same time, all day. It's nothing for me to be logged in but pop in & out of SR all day M-F simply because it's so easy. (That's why I "hide" while I'm logged in - just because I'm here doesn't mean I'm actively "here" - the screen may be minimized on my desktop for hours at a time if my work phones start ringing like crazy)

I tend to not block other posters so much as I just avoid anyone that has a history of triggering me or that I feel like I've tried but my message just isn't getting through. Every time anyone has ever upset me so much that I considered blocking them they've ended up being short-term posters at SR that leave as quickly as they arrive..... they show up, rage against what they don't want to hear, throw a bunch of awful around & then go back to living that reality in their lives, I guess. *If* they come back, it's always with a more humble perspective, all those rough edges less sharp now that the stuff they heard way-back-when from SR rang true & they see the progression of things.

I also TRY VERY HARD to watch my pronouns so I can try to stick to only sharing my own experiences. If I'm using a lot of "I" statements, I'm doing ok. If I'm you'ing all over the place it's either an attempt at tough-love after my I's stopped working OR I've lost myself & need to step back from the keyboard.


To the point of the original topic - I WISH it were so black & white, but it isn't. NOTHING gets me more riled up than thinking about the kids affected by active & ongoing addiction - especially having BEEN one myself. But every child, every addict, every sober parent & every situation is incredibly different even when there are similarities. There is no SINGLE right answer for everyone, it's not easy for any of us.

I get where you're coming from Cy - in the rearview, it's all 20/20 & we want to minimize or stop any potential further damage to every child impacted by addiction - don't forget you're also viewing this at least somewhat through the Lens of Regret, right? That affects the way you think of it but like every other part of this process, this can't be reduced to a single right answer or path.

Personally, I'd say that honesty & open communication & using the right labels & definitions for things as early as possible can go equally far for most children - but not every sober parent or every situation allows for that either.