Welcome.
And- not bizarre. Addiction. We can all share our own versions of what you have told us- when our lives became unmanageable and I was powerless over alcohol, it still look me a lot of loss and pain (for myself and others) until I finally quit.
You don't have to have the "yets" - as in, I haven't lost my kids YET, I don't drink during the day YET, so on and so on. Coming here is a great first step- perhaps check out the Newcomers Daily Support Thread and look at the Class of July for those quitting or thinking about it during the month of July.
Have you thought about going to a meeting? I fought it tooth and nail but AA saved my life.
Hope to see you around here. You CAN live a much better, peaceful, healthy life with your family.