i did things whilst drunk i would never ever do sober. Its like another person takes over, usually I'm a sloppy drunk, want to hug everyone, think im hilarious. But occasionally, a bad side comes out, and its made me do things i am deeply ashamed of. When i connected the dots and could pinpoint that every negative thing that has happened in my life, was a direct result of alcohol, and yet i still had not stopped drinking....then it was impossible to deny i am an alcoholic.
Do i drink everyday? No.
Do i crave alcohol and think about it constantly? No.
Am i sat homeless drinking out a bottle? No
Are there people worse than me? Yes
.....However
When i say i am going to stop drinking, have i? No. (until now, taking it very seriously)
Am i able to moderate my drinking once i take the first drink? No
Have people become concered about my drinking? Yes.
Has alcohol directly negatively impacted my life and made me unable to do certain things? Yes.
Once alcohol enters my veins, does my brain within seconds change, a change i can physically detect and then i obsess on getting the next drink? Yes.
IMO its not frequency, its not amounts, its not if someone is worse than you. Its if you are able to control having the one drink and stopping with ease. Nobody on this site can do that, and that's what binds us and makes us different to most drinkers. It doesn't matter what you tag it, that's not important, what is important is we acknowledge our struggle and we act on it.
Welcome to the site, im new here too and feel your fear and uncertainty, but feel we are in safe hands!