Horn, yay for day 3!!!
In my experience, my whole first year sober was kind of, let's say, hellish
I agonized over my marriage. My AH continued to drink, I continued to respond in really unhealthy ways.
It took time for my recovery to kick in, for me to see my part in things, to understand that I wasn't the center of the universe. It took time and work to unkink my thinking and my view of things.
I have found my footing. My AH still drinks but my reaction to him is completely different, 2 1/2 years into my recovery. I am finding happiness in myself and in my marriage.
I realize your marital issues are not around your wife's drinking but what I am trying to say is that it takes time, a lot more time than 3 days, to clear the haze. What you see today could be the polar opposite of what you see in a year's time. Or it could be exactly what you see today.
Take your time, focus on your healing and your recovery.
And onward we go in our sobriety
