I wasn't married to my now ex but, together for a long time while drinking. Up's,downs,breakups,makeups,ect.. Once I stopped drinking I could see the writing on the wall. We were nothing more than drinking 'buddies' and co-dependent on each other. There was NOTHING there without me drinking so, I had to walk away. I'm still processing that daily and it sucks but, it's best for her and I. We all deserve to be happy doing what makes us happy. Sobriety didn't help my relationship but, it helped me see what a vicious cycle my life had become in all aspects. I'm not saying this is the case for you at all but, booze hides a lot of cracks in 'things'. Try not to make any rash decisions and give it some sober time of thought. Good luck to you and your family.