I drank socially, occasionally for many years, in a way that I think was "normal". I could take it or leave it. I never had alcohol at home. I'd order one drink in a bar or restaurant. I overdrank occasionally, but then wouldn't touch it for weeks. Never thought about it. Never obsessed.
All through my 20s, 30s into my 40s.
Then, in my late 40s, I started drinking regularly, in increasing amounts, I believe now to self-medicate for anxiety. One night became two, which became every night. Half a bottle became a whole bottle, then more.
I don't think anybody can take regular high infusions of an addictive substance without lasting effects. After a while, I became addicted. I craved it. It becamae a habit, in every way.
I'm not a scientist, but my theory, based on my experience, is that once you cross that line, you can't undo it.
It's like someone who becomes allergic. The more your body is exposed to the substance, the stronger the reaction. It's not as if the person can use will power to just eat less of it. The allergic person just has to stay away from the substance.
My guess is that if you look back through the archives here, you'll find hundreds of people who wanted to somehow turn themselves from someone who abused alcohol heavily to somehow magically to become someone who can drink one or two glasses, and leave it alone the rest of the week.
It just won't happen.
There's no point wishing it will.
Just my take on it.