tomsteve

i can relate to that. my very 1st meeting- when i was truly, honestly, and sincerely ready for help- i pulled into the parking lot, backed into a spot, put the car in drive, went home and cried all night. i couldnt figure out why i couldnt walk in there.
i went back the next day. pulled in FORWARD this time.
and made it through the doors. the man chairing the meeting smiled at me when i walked through the door and said,"hey,glad ya made it back! welcome!"
the only thing i remember saying at that meeting was,"im tom im an alcoholic and i cant take it any more."
and cried the rest of the meeting.
but i kept going back. i got the big book real quick and started reading it. loved reading what could happen for me and my life if i worked the program. started working the program. "things" started changing- gradually.
one thing i learned was why i had a problem walkin into that 1st meeting:fear of the unknown- what was life without alcohol going to be like?
one thing that kept me going back: fear of the known- what my life WITH alcohol was going to be like.

eventually the problem with alcohol was removed- i was no longer fighting it. not cocky about it but not afraid either.
and a LOT of added personal benefits to boot.
i no longer hate myself
i know serenity and peace
i am comfortable in my own skin
my past doesnt haunt me
my attitude and outlook on life has changed

to name a few