I'm going to check out some smart recovery stuff later on
that a bit like saying i broke my leg - i'm going to look for a bandaid in a bit.
stewy you sound determined and even committed right up until the time comes to TAKE ACTION. you yourself stated that even in your prior term of sobriety you didn't actually DO anything recovery-minded, you just shifted addictions around. unless you grab that bulls by the horns and GET BUSY, you will continue to have one foot firmly nailed to the floor.