But I also know he's a smart man.
Being "smart" is no protection against alcoholism. There are plenty of smart, professional, successful people who are alcoholics.
How does this
He knows deep down it's bad
coexist with this?
He says he knows he enjoys it too much but doesn't think he's got a major problem.
How can he "know it's bad" while "not thinking he's got a major problem"?
I know he wants better for himself
What evidence do you have of this? What ACTIONS--not words, but ACTIONS--have you seen that tell you, loud and clear, that he does indeed "want better for himself?" I believe that YOU want better for him, but that's not what will get him into recovery.
It's almost like I can see him battling it.
It is ALMOST like it--but not REALLY like it, b/c if he was truly trying to stop drinking, he'd be seeking out a recovery program of some sort. He'd be working that program like crazy. He would NOT be hanging around in bars. He would NOT be getting so drunk he doesn't remember what he did. Those are NOT the signs of someone "battling" alcoholism; that is an active alcoholic doing what he does.
I'm sorry, Tiffany, but I don't see
anything in what you've posted that makes me believe he is in any way "battling" his drinking. It sounds like a lot of wishful thinking on your part...not that you're the first, last or only one here to ever do that! I think every single person here has been in that place of manufactured hope.
Read around the forum as much as you can, making sure not to miss the stickies at the top of the page. It would be great if you'd hit several Alanon meetings too. Educating yourself is the first step in figuring out what to do.