Hi Girraffegirl,
The first thing that struck me about your init.ial post about wanting to get away from self is that that is exactly what the AA program is about. Third step,prayer ...Relive me of the bondage of self... etc. and around that, being convinced that self manifested in various ways was at the root of all our problems...
Sounds like you are ready to tackle step four, which is where we begin to solve this problem and also where most people run away. You probably already found that running away from self doesn't quite work eh?
My own experience at about 60 days I suddenly saw the need to take this step, realizing that I probably would not survive if I did not. The third step prayer seemed to give me that insight, and the courage to press on.
So I turned up on my sponsors door step and asked him to help me with it. We did it together on a Saturday. It took four or five hours and the next day I got step five done. My life noticeably changed for the better, my spiritual experience began, and by the time I was half way through step nine, a few weeks later, I realized the obsession with alcohol had been lifted, and it has never come back.
Sometimes it takes a bit of discomfort to get us moving. Sitting in meetings seems to work for some folk, but it is not the program, and for an alcoholic of my type, action on the program and working with others was essential for me to recover permanently.