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Old 07-23-2017, 05:36 PM
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SparkleKitty
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Join Date: Aug 2012
Location: Chicago
Posts: 5,448
SB, I can only tell you that when I was your age I had no idea my mother was an alcoholic, but I did know that she was angry all the time, and that everyone else's duty in the family was to try to "keep Mom from getting mad."

I know now that there was nothing I can do or say or be to prevent her from getting angry, and I know now that neither her anger, her depression or her alcoholism had anything to do with me.

I wish I could go back and tell my teenage self that until she believed it, so that she wouldn't waste one more second of her precious life trying to manage someone else's happiness.

Get out of the house as much as you can. When he is angry, remind yourself it's nothing to do with you and that his anger is his to manage. As much as possible, try to protect yourself from being collateral damage.

You can't fix him. He has to fix himself, and first he has to want to fix himself. You can't do that for me. Take care of yourself as much as possible.
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