That is the addiction talking there Stewy, You got my support. So- you want to stop and are being hassled by family and it is costing heaps- so you spend more money on the thing that is costing you money and giving you grief.
Not a judgement- just your words. You need on the ground help and support.
Go to AA meetings. For me- once I cleverly argued my way out of do9ing this- but I am an alcie, it is free and is a place to hear, listen, understand - as well as being heard, understood and supported. See your doc about your physical health and get checked out for depression. Even tho my life seemed like one big unsolvable mess - divorce, no home 9thus homeless), alcohol, significant physical injuries, depression...etc, etc, etc.
They are not. I deal with each separately. A little every day.
The only one who can MAKE YOU better is YOU. So pour out any booze you have, clean up your space- eat and hydrate and then do something about this. Addiction sucks. You can do this. Keep posting.