Hey Travion. My thoughts go out to you my friend. It sounds like you're really struggling and I hope you know to stay close to this board. There are tons of us who have been through the pains of alcoholism and seen it through to the other side. You will get lots of support and zero judgment here, so stay close.
I agree with other posters on AA. Seems to me like you are looking at reasons not to attend. Here is one really good reason to attend that should trump all of those other reasons: you have a drinking problem! It's okay. Don't beat yourself up over it. I've been sober for 19 months and I still have a drinking problem, so don't fret too much over it. Just go to a meeting.