Before I logged on in 2014, I had many false starts! Telling myself "that's it, I'm not going to drink anymore" only to find myself back in the old routine just a few weeks afterwards.
I think this time, I actually made a proper decision - a no turning back kind of decision. I had a plan that if I drank again then I'd get to AA, if I drank after that then I would book myself in to a rehab clinic....
I think, having that plan ahead of me helped to show my subconscious that I was serious - and luckily I didn't need to do any of that.
I have learnt that if a strategy doesn't work, it's best not to beat yourself up because that can then be used as an excuse to give up on your vision - just change the strategy.
I still can't believe that I used to waste so much time, money and energy on alcohol, it seems crazy to me now, but at the time I remember it felt like a non-negotiable part of my life, like breathing!
That's what alcohol does, it makes our brains think that it's something special, that we can't live happily without. But it really is a big lie, a huge whopping corker of a lie!
This is your time Izzy, keep keeping on
