Please don't feel embarrassed, Chilledice. I am autistic and have extreme OCD and other severe pyschological issues which has gotten better through therapy and medication. I agree with Bunny that there is nothing wrong with taking meds to help. It's certainly not your fault and you are not alone. I spent so much time self-medicating with alcohol that I never confronted these problems head-on until recently. I was only making things worse by using drink as a crutch and it just made me more anxious and sick. Wishing you all the best!