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Old 07-17-2017, 09:47 AM   #6 (permalink)
Delizadee's Avatar

Join Date: Feb 2016
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Hi Aally,

I am really sorry for the pain you are going through right now.
The most important thing is for you to take care of yourself so you can feel good about the fact that you can and are taking good care of your baby.

I agree, some community support would be great, and Alanon, if you are able to go would be a great place for support and understanding. Also, do you have friends and family nearby who are able to help out? Give you a bit of time to yourself even if it's coming over and entertaining little one while you have a nap, go for a walk, just give yourself a pause to breathe.
Do you attend church where you may be able to lean on people for support?
Do you have a counselor you would be able to talk to?

I think support is essential to taking care of you. Early recovery is a tough, messy place for a lot of us, and working out the kinks of resentments can be very hard if we can't get out of the blame game. Anger often feels better at first then walking through the shame and guilt we feel from our past actions during our addictions.

Finding a way to put yourself first, and not carrying the guilt or trying to change how she is behaving may give you a bit of peace. You will have to do some work on this.
You didn't cause it. You can't change it. And you can't control it.
All that is in her hands. What's left is what you are doing for YOU today.

If you haven't already found it I highly suggest the Friend & Family forum where you will get great support and understanding from those who have walked that you are on right now.
I wish you the best, sending you and your baby love and peaceful hugs, and strength and healing for your wife.
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