HI Rosey,
Continue to hang in here with us.
This forum is a wonderful place for support.
You mentioned a meeting. Maybe when you are bored or feel irritated you can attend another one. I know they help me and it gives me a plan and I come away with determination.
Good luck to you and thank you for sharing
P.S. I wanted to add, your thoughts and feelings are so normal. Try to remember that's all they are and as long as you don't act on them, it's ok to feel crappy on some days