Hi rosesarered
I think a lot of us can identify with how you're feeling - for some of us drinking was our only respite, our only downtime...in some cases drinking was our social life too.
We can rebuild a sober life - and it will be even better than the old drinking life - but it takes time and support.
Please do lean on the support you'll find here.
you already know what drinking brings you..it bought you here.
Give sobriety a chance
D