One of the hardest lessons I've had to learn is how to let go of things I can't do anything about. Things I can't change. Things I can't go back and do over. Things that I might want but aren't truly best for me.
You've let go of alcohol. You wanted it badly at one time. But you learned to let go.
Letting go is hard for me. So, I know the struggle. Letting go of the past. Regret.
I truly believe regret is a very heavy burden to carry around. We've got to find ways to let go of regret. 40 years ago is a long time. It's good to learn lessons from what has happened before so we don't repeat the same mistakes over and over, but it's also good to let go of things we simply cannot change. Like water off a duck's back. Just let that water slide on down, down down. You don't have to let that water soak into you and weight you down.
Water off a duck's back, m'friend.