Hi,
I'm 26 years old, I live in France and I've been an alcoholic for 5 years.
I was not drinking every day for 5 years because my addiction works in cycles : I would drink every night (alone) for maybe 6 months, get sober for 2 months to pass my exams and get back in a decent shape then I would drawn in alcohol for another 6 months.
During my drinking periods I would put on UNBELIEVABLE amounts of weight, then get completely disgusted with myself and lose it all during the 2 months sober on a crash diet. I feel like this endless cycle really took a toll on my body.
I think that I drink because I hate myself and the more I drink the more I hate myself. I always feel like I have wasted so much time drinking instead of achieving stuff.
My personality changed a whole lot during the last 5 years. I went from being friendly and spontaneous to extremely solitary and calculating everything. It's not a problem though, I 'm used to it and I like it now.
I've been sober for 6 days now and I'm feeling good. Never experienced withdrawals or anything like that. I know for sure that the next two months will be like a honeymoon with my sobriety but then I'll feel good again and I'll want to drink again. This time I won't let it happen though, I have too much to loose.
Thanks for reading this
