Originally Posted by
tealily 
Fly N Buy,
That makes sense. Maybe dwelling on the reasons/explanations is pointless. All we can do is move forward.
Dwelling or being stuck in the muck I found unproductive at best extremely debilitating as worst. Sobriety is like driving at a high rate of speed and slamming on the brakes - all the crap in back seat fly's upfront hitting us in the head. I couldn't ignore it and had to address where I was wrong, resentful and who I had harmed.
Once I started to clean that up, things began to change. I had to forgive myself as well. That was and is the most difficult part for me.
But early in sobriety too much looking in the rear view mirror made me drink, again. I tried to wash it away many times - thought mostly didn't realize it.
Both alcoholism and recovery are progress, good news!