Andagain

Hello everyone.

Where to start. Well, I've known I've been an alcoholic for about three years, after about two years of extremely heavy drinking, I went to the hospital with a health scare related to my drinking and I thought I was going to die. I vowed that day that I would quit.

It didn't really work out. I've been drinking heavily for between five and six years now.

Usually I don't drink every day. I get drunk one day, recover the next and the following day drink again and the cycle just goes on and on and on.

So last night I started drinking at about 1 in the morning, at about 9 I kept my balance while I bought another 8 cans of beer because I had promised myself so stop at the beer I bought and my punishment for that lie I told myself, as is the case on many morning, is to look at the old lad who runs the shop in the eye while everyone else is buying coffee and buy beer clearly drunk first thing in the morning.

I walked in, had a sip, threw up and just decided that enough was enough. I need to mean it this time. I'm scared about my health all the time, scared or cirrhosis, and one day it will kill me and if I put it off another three years will fly by and I'll still be drinking. Except fatter and more sad and more anxious and more desperate.

So, I went to sleep, woke up, feeling absolutely terrible. I don't want to ever feel this terrible again.

So yeah, day 1. Tonight my vice is a curry and a pepsi max. Hoping things get better.