It was a revelation. It wasn't a deprivation, it was a blessing.
For years I've drank a bottle of wine a night on this trip. At first openly but in the last few years (when I was supposedly cutting back), making excuses to go to the store to buy wine, hiding the empties, missing breakfasts out having to sleep in while everyone else was enjoying time together.
It was a joy to wake up feeling refreshed, healthy and guilt-free, instead of hungover and sick of myself. Everyone was so surprised: Hey! Mom is coming with us! It was such a relief and simple pleasure.
My bathing suit looked better on me, my stomach flatter, my skin, eyes and hair healthier-looking by the week. I feel such a burden lifted.
Every now and then the old associations would pop in.. romanticizing having a sparkling glass of wine overlooking the beach. Then I reminded myself what it would devolve to and actually be .. me hiding a bottle in a closet or behind groceries, surreptitiously drinking out of a plastic cup, collapsing into bed, waking up a few hours later feeling sick and miserable.
For me the trick has finally been to realize that Not Drinking is not "being deprived", it's a gift. Making that mental switch has been everything.
My counter on my phone says 47 days of freedom and $470 saved!
