I'm so dissapointed in mysqelf. I didn't even try to stop myself. I didn't come here, didn't tell my husband. It's like I have no impulse control. Didn't even think twice. Now I feel guilty and ashamed and hating myself. I've been feeling really good and I wasn't even craving to drink, I just did it. I wish I had someone I could text with, another alcoholic that understands. I know if I went to a meeting I would meet some, but my anxiety has been keeping me homebound right now and I can't be out without having panic attacks. Here's to starting over for good this time. Then on top of that I was cleaning and when I'm drunk I feel like throwing everything away. Can't even remember what I trashed last night but the garbage came so there's that. I say and do dumb things when drinking. Why can't I stop!
