Stewey, I've been doing this for years, and I can relate. I gave a valiant effort this past try getting 15 days in sober, but messed up on Friday. I'm not drinking a lot (2-3 beers), because I want to sober up, but the fact that I can stop there always makes me wonder, and my AV takes over from that point on.
I'm writing things down and it's been helping. It keeps me thinking forward in a positive way, though I'm very hard on myself with this.
It's important to note that we are not alone, and addiction is real. At least we're on here and putting forth some effort, and keeping an eye on our addictions more or less. This weekend has been tough, as I've given myself 4 days off, but I'm finding that struggle and discipline are important in every facet of life in order to enjoy the good things.
It's like a motivational video. "You fail and fail, and finally succeed." I hope someday, both of us will be able to talk about this in a positive way. Perhaps many of us need different approaches toward sobriety, but loving myself and getting rid of an apathetic mentality are most important for me to stay sober. It's freaking hard... But a lot of people do it, which means we can do it!