Stewy I want to apologize in advance for what I am going to say. I have never been one to sugar coat things, and sometimes to a detriment.
Your alcoholism is progressing along right on schedule, and quite effectively I might add. Only you have the power to stop this madness. You can recieve 1000 responses to this post and it won't keep you from drinking if you don't want to stop. I only hope in a sober moment you can create a plan to get you out of this death spiral. Best wishes.