Originally Posted by
tripstotheedge 
Can't do the programs. 24 hours from now, I'll be the selfish person I always am. Vicious cycle. I'm so weak and scared. I only push forward for my kids.
That's the AV talking, it's not the 'you' part of you. There's a little part of our reptile brain called the Beast that will always attempt to sabotage any effort to get sober because it loves the rush of being drunk. But you don't have to listen to that part of you. Certainly you go back to drinking because it's a habit. You can form new habits.
I decided to stop for good almost five years ago when I was already 43. Up til that point I don't think I'd strung together three sober days in a row in a decade. But I managed to change, and if
I can do it
anyone can.