I have a request of all who cares to comment... this works on the assumption you all have 'been here' for the last half of my life changing events, thoughts/feelings/actions.
I have created a version of CBT strategy...in that I play the tape forward.
I am very good at hating myself. When running through a conversation with myself- I role play the other person in a conversation as hating me. Playing the tape..I then work on what are the best responses to make, being the one who is hated...showing compassion, objectivity and realism. With this I change- and feel a little more at peace with me.
Hope for the best- assume the worse. It works we.., except for one question...which haunts me.
If at some point my sons decide to meet with me- and their attitude is one of people who only know me from memory, how would I respond?
So if I begin with how well I am doing and the reasons why, without going into 'evidence' and their reactions are basically saying they are angry, mistrustful and hurt..that this meeting is all about them. Yes I do know I cannot change them that mere evidence probably will not work. That mindshift is hard and perhaps the meeting is to alleviate guilt, see to e doing so as o rationalise 'well at least I tried'.
BUT also the fact there IS a meeting...kinda like a person shouting very loudly they refuse to go to AA meetings, 'cos it is all god crap- and go toa meeting to say this. Mixed messages?