I can't relate to getting violent, but I can relate to blackouts. Twice (that I'm aware of), I drove 30 miles blacked out. It's possible I drove in that condition more than that. I really don't know. My blackouts became more and more frequent, to the point that they were almost nightly. My last one, I woke up in the hospital about five hours later with a priest administering anointing of the sick over me. I don't remember anything during that stretch. Not my proudest moment, to be certain.
The nice thing is, you don't have to have any more blackouts. You don't have to have any more mornings filled with regrets and trying to piece together what you did the night before.
Sobriety and the mental and physical relief we get from it really are worth it. Life is much more peaceful in sobriety.