Wisconsin

Well...on the one hand, I feel very fortunate. AXH's girlfriend seems very nice. She's a lot younger, and not the sharpest knife in the drawer (which I'm sure is part of the reason AXH likes her so much). My understanding is that she absolutely caters to his every emotional tantrum. At this point, at least, I'm sure she has not been the TARGET of one of those tantrums, and so she surely feels a lot of power over being the "person who can calm him down." Sooner or later, she will learn the hard way that a boyfriend who will sit around and rant about all the b*tches and c**ts who make his life so hard...that boyfriend will eventually call HER those names. It's only a matter of time. She's a drinker, too, so maybe she will have an easier time of it, or maybe it will take longer for things to deteriorate. But I know what lies ahead for her, and sadly, for her son. I do not wish it on ANYONE.

She treats DS well, and he likes her, which is what really matters to me. I have no idea if her relationship with alcohol is as dysfunctional as AXH's, but we all know HE will just continue to get worse over the years. They are all relatively functional together at this point, but I've been around this block enough to know that the overall trend will be downward, regardless of how nice this young woman is. I also know many, many here whose exes have turned to truly horrible people. So, while I'm glad he met someone who seems nice (and who treats DS well), and that their relationship was the motivating factor he needed to get his butt in gear on the divorce, there is a big part of me that feels very, very badly for her and especially for her son.

Side note: I made a comment to him on the phone the other day when he was out of town that "this" was hard for me. (The "this" being that he was 600 miles away with DS and his new girlfriend and his new girlfriend's son.) He, of course, interpreted that to mean that I miss him and regretted leaving or something. All I wanted to do was get off the phone, and I certainly don't owe it to ANYBODY to clarify what I mean: that "this" was hard for me, because I know the chaos and abuse that awaits these two people, who right now see a knight in shining armor who comes in and "takes care" of them, and "spoils" them. She's a full grown adult. Hopefully when the tides turn, she will be smart enough to kick him to the curb a lot sooner than I did. But that little boy of hers...it makes me physically sick to think of the things he will see, sooner or later.