Vick1

Hi all,

I'm not a newbie to recovery, in fact I've been trying to get off of opiates since I started over 13 years ago, and have been addicted to weed since I was 17. But I now find myself in a bit of bother (not for the first time of course, as an addict I've been through it all bar a prison sentence) and I was hoping to get other peoples perspectives on the situation, especially from a community such as this one.

So I moved to the Czech Republic in 2013 to escape a full on relapse of my heroin addiction. For months I was using everyday, and luckily some family bailed me out and I jumped on a flight to the Czech Rep to teach English. So long story short, I (fairly) quickly relapsed but with suboxone. It's everywhere here, and I've tried and tried and tried to come off of it, failing every time. I know I need support to get off of opiates, I've known it for a while now, but it's not available here for English speakers (as in NA meetings not professional counselling, which I couldn't afford if I wanted). If I went back to the UK, I know that there are NA meetings all over the place.

But here lies the problem. Street suboxone here is expensive, and I've racked up quite a bit of debt with the social security and health insurance company. If it was a bank debt or creditor debt I wouldn't be so bothered, but it would be a criminal offence to just up and leave. Plus, my landlord would possibly be accountable, as my current address is also registered as my business address, although I'm not sure about that part.

In my heart I know I need to go home and get some support, but in my head I just can't bring myself to **** one more person over. As an addict I've ****** over countless landlords, not by a lot of money, but the guilt is stacked pretty high. I think I've also just lost my job, as obviously being on suboxone noticeably affected my work performance. I've pretty much exhausted the support from my family. and I dont mean financial support, Ive always been very independent and have amazingly only been bailed out a couple of times by my parents, but there is no where for me to hide back home while I'm in recovery. I have some money to get a place, but I would have to find a job right away to pay the bills.

Sorry if this is a little long winded, but I felt I needed to give all the info. My best friend from school, and the person I started doing heroin with, also died this year. **** it just seems like I've pushed it too far, let it go on for too long, and now there's no escape. I know there are people in much worse situations than mine, luckily for me I never got into needles which is really what killed my friend. I'm 35 and ready to find peace, but I really dont want to **** anyone else over, and the prospect of going back to the UK, finding a new place to live, AND a new job, all while going through recovery, just seems like a mountain that I'm not sure I can make it over.

Any advice will be appreciated.

And if you've made it this far, thank you.


Sean