Originally Posted by
Jules714 
I'm sorry to read this as it's evident that you are going through it.
Why not just put the drink down and take it one day at a time?
Perhaps go to Women's AA mtgs.?
Only time will ease his mind about infidelity. Nothing will change his controlling nature...
How about not going to parties and dating each other again? Sober.
Just suggestions.
The main objective is to stop drinking. You cannot figure everything out at once. None of us can...but my understanding is that with time, things sort out easier.
Just breathe hon!
Good luck and big hug,
Jules
Thanks Jules..
I have, on several occasions, thought about how great it would be to start afresh... Like just start dating again and perhaps rediscover what we've forgotten or what has been covered up by all the murk. And, of course, to do this properly, i'd have to be sober. I'm not sure he'd like the 'new' me, though. Normally, i'm outspoken about things I feel passionate about and in the beginning of our relationship, we used to have heated, but healthy, arguments about things. However, over the years, this dynamic has changed and any argument we have, even if it starts as a civil discussion, ends rather poorly. He likes things his way or no way and I've learned not to argue or present an opposing opinion anymore. I have peace of mind this way. Plus, like I said before, i'm a bad drunk and everything I feel is heightened when i'm high.... So, no hot discussions for me and him for the moment.
So, we may not really like each other much if we were to start dating, lol. (I have to laugh because it does really sound weird). However, perhaps with some sober days under my belt, I may see things differently. One day at a time.